She picked out her outfit for tomorrow. The dress is ironed and hung. The shoes and socks are laid out. Her school supplies lay waiting by the door.
She’s sleeping soundly, now.
In fact, the whole house is asleep. Everyone is asleep, but me.
I’m awake, thinking about another first on the list of milestones.
Tomorrow is my older BSFs’ first day of real preschool.
I say real preschool because, although she attended a once or twice a month class last school year, this year, she will attend preschool with a regularity that requires me to write out a real schedule. I must remember more than just my appointments. As well, I must add more events to my calendar to schedule in the irregular stuff…class parties, school-related evening activities, snack days, etc.
My late-night musings are just reminders that my BSF is growing up. Each and every day.
There are no tears. Not from me, and not from my BSF. Well, at least not yet.
In fact, she tells me that her first day at preschool will be a “wonderful day”. No doubt, it will be.
I am nostalgic for the self-initiated play dates that used to dot my free and flexible calendar. Now, I’m imagining car pool, names written with indelible ink, meeting classmates’ parents, newly learned vocabulary, sick kids and sick days, phone calls or notes from the teacher, new friends and more.
I keep thinking, “Is she ready for this new world?” It’s more like, “Am I ready for the world that awaits her?”
I pray that she is…that I am.
So, as I say my bedtime prayers tonight, I will also pray a slightly modified bible verse for my BSF.
I pray that this new world is kind and patient. That it is filled with and envelopes her in love. I pray that jealousy, boastfulness, anger, rudeness and resentfulness make few sizeable appearances. I pray that justice dominates, and that she feels the equity, especially when it doesn’t work in her favor. I pray that her trust in others is not shaken. I pray that she doesn’t give up easily, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and that she works through the tough stuff, just as love does.
For all of you who are sending your “babies” off to school for the first time…or the second time or for the last time…I pray the same prayer for your child. Some days, it can feel like a whole new world, out there.